Sunday, April 20, 2008

We're a livin in a pigshty!

Forget the forty shades of green folks. Poor aul Ireland is experiencing a litter epidemic. At every four-cross roads, in every ditch at the side of every bohereen, the Oirish are dumping their domestic waste. And Official Ireland doesn't give a damn.

Archbishop John Gormley, Minister for the Environment and number one treehugger, is too busy saving the planet to even notice. Instead of opening his eyes, and taking in the damage to our countryside, the Archbishop is stuck in his office in Merrion Street devising emergency strategies for Judgement Day, Armageddon, and God knows what. Yikes, here comes the tsunami! I'm going to drown. Oh wait, here comes Gormley on his rubber dinghy. We're saved, we're saved!

Not that the Al Gore wackybacky is confined to the Green Party. Our County Councils, who we pay to collect our rubbish, are clearly very relaxed about the situation as well. PaddyThePig, upon informing his County Council about some disgraceful local dumping of litter was abruptly told "The Council have a policy of not collecting illegally dumped litter." In other words, chill out man, we ain't gonna collect it.

Should we be surprised? No. We always knew there were scumbags in our midst. Regrettably, they are now on a crusade to avoid paying their waste disposal bills, and to hell with the consequences. The authorities are either too lazy, or have their heads buried so deep in the sand (or up their asses), to do anything about it. And you call pigs dirty! Gimme a break!

Oink Oink!

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